| Writings |
Rae |
Past |
Visuals |
But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
seven more days and i'll be sitting for my first paper.
and i start to fret, only today.
i was like sitting in my daddy's car, picturing myself next year when collecting my results.
what exactly wld i see?
given the slacker attitude in me now,
raaaahhh the future seems REALLY bleak.
shuts abt me not having to study and still being able to score okay.
thats totally not true.(:
i simply sleep wif my tb under my pillow and let all knowledge diffuse in.
try that! trust me, straight As for yr papers.
digressing, i'll be missing prom.
=((((( whines-
i'll miss out all the fun and stuff.
grrrrrrrrrr. thanks huh, for pushing the prom date forward.
i'm still wholly disgusted by that disgusting fagot?!
SERIOUSLY AND HONESTLY, YOU DONT DESERVE YR GF TOO HUH.
I THINK SHE'S THE ONE THAT MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.
i miss my little one.
alot alot alot.
i'm broke. and today's monday.
all thanks to dinner at cartel just now.
and roars, i'm full and broke now.
=(
i especially love the breeze today.
because i caught yr smell.
and whenever the breeze comes,
i smell you.(:
i miss my papa pig.=(
mon cherie;
you despicable fagot,
when can you stop yr unscrupulous ways of spreading nonsense abt my baby?
yr tongue ought to be chopped off or something.
i totally sympathize wid you because you totally have no life?
i advise you to shutup or else you'll get beaten for yr foul mouth one day.
physics pract was screwed?!
i dont know how many marks gone cos i didnt have enough time.
and the pract was like hell.
cramps been killing me.
raaahhh.
the rainbow, eternity spells it.(:
its been three days still i last mugged.
hurry clap.
chao mugging resumes tonight.
Os is in another weeks time.
wow, thats really long.
the world is so small!
i feel like killing myself,
perhaps that wld be less painful.
the colours of the rainbow;
eternity, somewhat it spells.
girls and their soft spots,
just make me want to love them more and more.
(:
tears of uncertainity.
i hope everything will be alright soon.
i cease to believe what i hear,
because reading something else proves to be more heart trenching.
its okay, i'm fine.
i'm such a privileged person.
i have 2 butches seeing me home today!
and my parents happened to see us.
ROARS. I JUST WANT TO ROAR WID LAUGHTER.
i'm sorry for such a random entry.
:]
chem pract was horrible okay lah.
and i like wilberpan! like always.
and i want to buy condo.
and i want to go paris.
the list goes on.
i'm so full of random thoughts.
all the things you said,
running through my head.
its amazing how you can speak right to my heart.
without saying a word, you can light up the dark.
try as i may, i can never explain.
what i hear when you dont say i thing.
all day long i can hear people talking out loud.
but when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd.
try as they may, they could never define.
what's been said between yr heart and mine.
you, are my aphrodisiac.
(:
i found myself searching desperately for you amidst the million of souls in dreamland.
i found myself steering for true north, once again.
dear catherine,
i'm truly lost.
thousands of thoughts swirling through my mind,
yet i dont seem to pen anything down.
i found myself crying to sleep last night.
i dont know why.
i want to run away.
because of you i never strayed too far from the sidewalk.
because of you i learnt to play on the safe side so i dont get hurt.
because of you i find it hard to trust, not only me but everyone ard me.
because of you, i am afraid.
because of you,
she's afraid.
baby rochelle;
colours started to appear in her world.
the night was no longer long and turbulent.
she was no longer neglected, forgotten, ragged.
she no longer felt despondent.
she's no longer the ragged doll.
she's being loved,
by the most wonderful person in the entire world.
finally, she saw the light.
you, are the light in my life.
and you are the reason why i wake up each morning.
(:
the baby just rock?!
yes, for me she resisted all temptations to smoke.
for me she fought against the addiction.
for me, she suffered.
i simply love her.
i found the momentum to chao mugg.
and i found my stuffs too!
double hurray.
the last lap;
it dawned upon me that i'm only left wid three weeks to mug for the upcoming Os.
and as i was planning my timetable this morning,
i could feel my hand shaking.
i didnt know time left is so so short.
i want to thank aw wenxi novia!
because without her,
i dont be so happy.
she's the best and prettiest gf in the world know!
SHE'S MY GF, SO DONT SNATCH OKAY.
i know she's pretty,
but she's taken by me!
HAHAHA.(:
digressing,
i feel like i'm losing my readers.
either you guys dont tag or what.
sighs. =(
fallen, deep;
some irksome people totally have no life?
till they indulge in making stories abt pple, abt themselves.
just to make themselves look better.
no life, loser, poseur.
and please, its my baby you're spreading abt.
GO EAT SHIT AND DIE.
^*(%*^$%^@#@^%*&_(&()%%@!
bio pract starts today,
though it doesnt affect me.
but my practs are next week.
time flies,
and i havent got the momentum of chao mugging yet.
still searching, raaaahhhh.
speaking of searching,
i fuckinghell lost my history file, history revision guide and ss tb.
yes, at this really crucial period.
i'm going back to school in hopes of finding it there.
pray for me okay?
the endeared one has been filling my life wid so much joy.
thank you(:
i miss my pretty gf lah!
its alright, because when i look up to the sky.
i know we're sharing the same sky,
and this brings me closer to her.
haha! she tell me one okay.
and, to credit mingming abit,
is mingming tell her one.
:D
okay, i'm still sick.
and my mama and papa is forcing me to see the doctor today,
much to my baby's relief.
she's another one who's been like RAAAAAHHH, ROAR.
BETTER TAKE CARE OF YR HEALTH.
love, me.
look! ---------->
the baby's smiling.
(:!
i simply love her brown jacket.
i simply love her smell.
who cares abt her man?
she's happy too.
wid her hot gf.
reyes & rae ;
our paths seem so parallel now,
they'll never cross each other's again.
will they?
whatever. i dont feel like talking to you anymore.
feelings for you that i cant deny.
i dont want to understand.
i dont like you.
yahyah, stop living in self denial.
i dont know. whatever.
shut up.
suddenly, i feel like crying.
i need my baby so much.
i dont want next week to come.
can next week dont come?
i dont want them to call.
i dont want.
can they dont do that?
you know what,
i'm in deep shit.
and i need badly need strength to carry on.
aiyah, fuck my life lah.
i need my baby even even more now.
=(((
cut my life into pieces,
i've reached my last resort;
i had my little bone-y pierced yesterday,
another wild act of mine wif qian.
and its causing me much pain since today!
okay, i heard that hers is alright.
i keep forgetting i got piercing there lah!
when i want to put on my earphones,
ouch.
my immune system's still pretty low.
and i would like to thank my dearest priscilla for spreading all her illness to me.
and making me suffer real bad for the past week.
thanks huh.-.-
anyway, i've got the sexiest voice now!
and i've coughed a hundred million times today already.
nice?!
i know i'm the prettiest little thing.
okay, i know i'm not.
shut up rae.
my sister just received some prank calls.
are you amanda chin? i know yr darkest secret.
such people totally have no life?!
speaking of my sister,
i wonder how she managed to get her profile so skyhigh.
apparently, my friend's sister who's from some neighbourhood school in bishan knows her.
woohs.
is yr sister a bung?
thats the question i got from my friend.
TSK TSK.
you you you.
and when i know of the truth,
and when i feel hurt,
i'm gonna hate you real bad.
okay, apparently i saw something.
and i'm not in the best of mood now.
rrrraaaaaahhhhhhh.
and i warn you to fuck off.
tomorrow's my last day in cedar.
mixed emotions,
raahhh. i'm gonna miss everything there.
i wish everybody could stop finding me.
guess what,
i'm supposed to look for nair tomorrow.
and i dont see anything good in that.
although she's my good friend.
but... dont know lah.
you're missed.
-
one month.
one month ago,
i emerged the champion.
the next month,
i feel like a fool.
i'm glad there's baby by my side.
oh wells,
meand my sister joleen got nothing more to say.
nothing more to add.
just simply,
roll eyes.
we know each other best lah,
some things are better left unsaid.
can i dont see nair tomorrow?
you turned ugly.
yes yes, everyone leave me alone.
you havent hear both sides of the story;
because you are the one. (:
thank you baby for taking care of me when i'm sick okay?
i let you in,
and you're here to stay forever.
people make mistakes all their life.
a chance was given to the both of us to mend everything right.
you failed to treasure the chance you were given.
mistakes made, once again.
just dont make the exact same mistakes once again.
then you wont regret next time.
i know i'm not exactly the prettiest little thing;
yesterday was the most beautiful day.
(except for the stupid cab fare!raaaaahhhhhh.)
-
i'm feeling so much better alr!
fever sorethroat flu headache.
see how sick i was.=(
i spent the whole day at home sleeping.
raaahhh. time passes so quickly when i'm sleeping.
apparently, time passes so slowly for the poor baby.
=(
and! i didnt do anything except to sleep today.
and finish up a couple of irritating autographs which is so mafan!
thinking of how to write them and what to write really cracks my brain man.
now you know why i got headache for the whole day.
i'm dedicating my entire life to you.
because of you, i'm smiling once again.
i feel myself falling into an endless pit,
closer and closer to you.
i'm sorry for keeping you in the dark.
immune's system's still down.
i figured out that its worst now.
i'm rejecting food,
i'm not drinking enough.
i dont sleep well.
i have so much worries.
i miss you so much.
raaaahhh.
Os is on one month's time.
this time i better not slack so much like prelims.
yes yes, nobody believes that i slacked for prelims.
ask priscilla lah, she knows best. (:
someone wants to mend my broken heart.
i dont know how you do what you do,
i'm so in love wid you.
and it just keeps getting better.
as usual,
my entries' filled wid all my random thoughts again.
basically,
my life's now: mugging.
though my concentration's not there,
at least i'm staring at the whatever material that i'm supposed to be studying for.
(: still counted at mugging lah okay.
i love you so much,
but sometimes i think you're a distraction to me.
-quoted, AWMINGMING.
and you know who's the she?
SUNYANZI.
whatever lah okay!
ps. mingming wants yanzi to be her gf.
go listen to
lian ai-i-n-g
by mayday!
i bet it'll make you happy, really.
decipher me if you dare;
if you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
the world despises her.
she, i must agree, seems to be the biggest liar on earth.
but deep down inside,
she knows.
she's not lying.
to anyone, to the world, nor herself.
a state of confusion,
all she yearns for is to draw herself back from the world.
give them time.
give herself time too.
she'll leave it to fate for whoever's paths to cross.
cos i miss you,
body and soul so strong that i takes my breath away.
did i mention that this song is so beautiful?
then let me slip away.
the passing wind brought me yr scent.
i miss you.
but all i can say is,
sorry.
everything's my god-damn fault.
thank you.
-
wenrou wenrou wenrou.
she suddenly fell in love wid this song ever since she stumbled upon it in someone's iriver.
this song, it makes her want to cry.
the tune is like damn sad?
every little thing you do,
baby i'm so amazed by you.
i desperately need someone to talk to me,
and believe me.
i'm sorry for all my random thoughts okay?
pardon me. :]
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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